A Discipleship of Discomfort

“Everyone says we should just get married, but we’re comfortable as we are now. Besides, we’re not even close to being ready for kids yet.” 

The woman who told me this is 27. She’s a Christian and was raised in a nurturing home, and we were talking about her plans after grad school with her longtime boyfriend. They’ve been together for more than six years—practically live together. She knows that sleeping together before marriage is not what God wants for her, but she also knows marriage and children take work. It’s more than she thinks she can handle.

This conversation was not the first time I’d heard a Zoomer or younger millennial express this kind of concern. Marriage, kids, and even other relationships strike them as too much of a challenge.

They enjoy friendships—but only if they don’t require too much effort or sacrifice. Marriage is palatable—but only if it adds to their happiness and comfort. And children? Well, everyone knows having kids is taxing on every part of your life, so they’ll put that off as long as they can. They’ve watched other generations suffer and have decided to choose comfort over hardship and personal well-being over communal sacrifice. 

But younger generations aren’t the only ones shunning discomfort. It seems many people of every generation—and not only in America—have come to believe that ease, comfort, and well-being are (or should be) the default of daily life.

Entire markets are responding to this trend. The global wellness industry reached nearly $7 trillion in 2024 and is expected to hit $9 trillion by 2028, almost double what it was as recently as 2019. 

This rising aversion to discomfort has even affected the clothes we wear: Comfort clothing and loungewear continue to grow in popularity. We’re buying what feels good over what looks nice. Companies that specialize in athleisure have begun to focus on multifunctional designs that allow you to go from work to the gym to a night out without needing to change. Gone are the days of having to unbutton a rigid waistband if you overeat. Soft joggers are acceptable at church, at dinner, or even at work. 

Much of this may seem spiritually and morally neutral—does God really care that you like to wear joggers? But our inundation with creature comforts and self-care contributes to a wider shunning of all kinds of dis-ease. It is increasingly normal to shun the complexities of relationships that might push us beyond our cozy caves. 

And caves they are, as the desire for comfort coincides with increasing social isolation. Obsessed by our own comfort zones, we increasingly repel anything and anyone who might make life more difficult. Marriage requires perseverance. Kids are costly. And friendships ask for sacrifice. Why not just get a dog?

The problem with this way of thinking isn’t simply that it keeps us from having meaningful relationships or getting married or having children—though it can do all that. The deeper problem is that this way of living stands at odds with the way of the gospel. In a world that caters to our ease and happy feelings, the calling of Christ can feel like an invitation to scrape sandpaper on your skin or to sludge around with water in your socks. 

And following Jesus is often difficult. You cannot live as if comfort is king and simultaneously declare that Jesus is Lord.

Jesus says, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matt. 16:24). This is not a call to take up a pillow and comforter and lay down in a warm space in the kingdom. On the contrary, it is a call to willingly sacrifice your comfort, your personal thriving, and your sense of ease for the sake of God’s call. 

But while physical wellness is temporary and comfort is fleeting, the peace that comes from following Jesus through sacrifice will last. In fact, it is the only kind that will last.

As church leaders, we do the world a disservice with altar calls that invite new believers into an easier life with Jesus and discipleship programs that promise your best life now with Christ. The message we must convey is that a life with Christ requires that we give up everything to follow him.

But herein lies our joy: What we lose in the world is nothing compared to what we gain with Christ. What we sacrifice of ourselves for Jesus pales in comparison to what we gain in fellowship with him. In an age consumed by temporary comforts, we carry the assurance of eternal peace that stems from union with and obedience to Christ as Lord and Savior.

What might it look like for you to trade in worldly wellness for a deeper—if more demanding—spiritual peace in union with Christ? What sacrifices is God calling you to make to secure the consolation that comes from being in his will? There’s nothing wrong with enjoying comfort or wanting wellness. But our comfort, well-being, and ease cannot come at the expense of the sacrificial call of the gospel.

Nicole Massie Martin is chief operating officer at Christianity Today.

The post A Discipleship of Discomfort appeared first on Christianity Today.

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