There are two opposite errors we can make when it comes to thinking about pastoring and trauma. The first is to find it all too confusing and complex, and as a result do nothing. The second is to be overconfident about our capacity as agents of healing and do harm as we try to solve everything. A much better, and humbler, route exists. While acknowledging that we are not experts, we can recognize the many ways we can, and should, exhibit loving, Christ-centered care.
The Experience of Trauma
Trauma is a technical word that has acquired broad popular usage.We sometimes lose our bearings when faced with technical terms, so it is worth beginning by recognizing that trauma is always an experience of suffering, and those who suffer should always be of concern to us and our churches. Trauma is sometimes described as an experience that overwhelms a person, getting through their defenses and under their skin. Whether through military combat, a life-threatening car crash, prolonged childhood abuse, or some other reason, traumatic experiences leave their mark in that the impact of the past is carried into the living of the present.
The effect of trauma varies. Often, it produces a heightened level of arousal, especially in situations that feel threatening. Someone may be constantly on guard, with a hyper-vigilance that is alert to danger (whether real or perceived). It may be hard for someone to engage with those around them, and with heightened anxiety, they may begin to feel detached from their surroundings.
People who have experienced trauma may therefore be sensitive to particular situations, noises, or stories. Often these things have an association with the past. For example, a soldier who experienced trauma on the battlefield may find the experience evoked by the noise of fireworks. It is not simply that they recall the experience, but that they relive it—the emotions and physical sensations associated with the original trauma are experienced afresh in the present.
Trauma Isolates
Those who have experienced trauma often carry feelings of shame. Perhaps something was done to them that feels shameful (even if they were the one offended against). Or something they did, or failed to do, has come to feel shameful to them. Or perhaps it is a sense of being unable to cope that somehow seems worthy of shame.
Shame isolates us. It causes us to feel unacceptable, unwelcome, and as if we do not belong. It causes us to retreat and avoid people. Trauma is sometimes identified as something that we find “unspeakably” awful. Trauma silences us—we have no words to describe what has happened to us—which reinforces a sense of isolation.
Gospel Hope
In his ministry on earth, Jesus moved toward those who suffer. The sick and needy—and those who considered themselves outcasts—flocked to him (see Mark 1:32 and 10:49). In imitation of Jesus, the church is also expected to move toward those who suffer – ‘if one part suffers, every part suffers with it’ (1 Cor. 12:26). This acceptance of, and love toward, those who suffer is rooted in the salvation work of Jesus. Jesus “endured the cross, scorning its shame” (Heb. 12:2). We have a message that speaks powerfully to both suffering and shame.
Five Principles for Our Churches
- Be aware of the possibility. When someone asks if a church, or a ministry, is “trauma informed,” often what they want to know is, Will you see me? Will I be noticed and welcomed, or will it feel as if I am too complicated or awkward to be acknowledged? We don’t need to be experts, but we do need to be aware that alongside us in our churches there are people whose past suffering continues to create present struggles. That is why I wrote Understanding Trauma—I wanted to provide an introduction to trauma that is specifically designed for church life.
This awareness will shape our assumptions and natural responses to people. We will, for example, not assume that the distracted individual who fails to make eye contact or speaks abruptly is simply being rude. We will consider the possibility that they might be wrestling with anxiety as they bravely try to enter our church building rather than simply turn and flee.
- Make space in your welcome. Most of us feel some anxiety when entering an unfamiliar environment—particularly one in which everyone else seems to feel at home—and this anxiety is heightened for those who have experienced trauma. People may leave early or arrive late to avoid crowding, and we can accommodate that. The layout of our entry and exit points and the posture of people stationed there can be warm and welcoming while making space for people to choose their own level of interaction. Do what you can to reduce congestion around the entrance, and make sure that there is a clear and unobstructed exit route.
If a person’s traumatic experience is associated with church, ordinary aspects of worship may be associated with threat and even take them by surprise. A song that many people find reassuringly familiar, for instance, could cause others to relive visceral memories of past suffering and helplessness. They may need to go outside for a time and later re-enter the building. Protect their ability to retreat or take a moment, and make it easy for them to move freely without awkwardness. We can use a light touch even in offering help: “If you need anything, do just ask. I’ll be glad to help.”
- Alerts and warnings. A preacher cannot possibly know, never mind make allowance for, all the various sensitivities of their hearers. But the severe distress experienced in reliving trauma merits particular attention. Certain topics or narratives can be triggering for someone who has suffered trauma: that is, the memory—or, more accurately, the experience—of their suffering may be vividly evoked by those things.
The Bible does not shy away from the hard realities of sin and suffering, which means that it does include some uncompromising accounts of physical brutality and sexual violence. We will not want to avoid these passages, but we ought to be aware of the impact they might have. We might, therefore, consider giving advance notice when such a passage is going to be read or preached from. A brief mention at the start of the service may be all that is needed. Acknowledging that some may want to step out before the reading and sermon will make it that much easier to do so. It also clearly communicates the message: We see you and we care about you.
- Follow Scripture’s lead. The Bible is generally circumspect in its descriptions of violence and suffering. Where contemporary novels often give extended, graphic accounts of events and emotions, the Bible rarely does. We would do well to follow that example and avoid graphic descriptions in our preaching and teaching.
We would also be wise to avoid misguided attempts to “lighten the mood.” What we intend as witty remarks to dispel awkwardness in the discussion of painful topics will, in all probability, land badly with those who have experienced trauma. It is likely to communicate that we have no conception of the severity of what they have lived through, or even that we are dismissing and trivializing their experience.
- Involving and belonging. As we increase our awareness and make space for the different needs of those among us, we must resist the tendency to move into an “us and them” mindset. Someone suffering with trauma might assume that there is an “us” group that has everything sorted out (to which they cannot possibly belong) and they must be part of a troubled, needy “them.” We know better. The gospel, of course, directly counters such thinking. We are all needy. And we are all outside until Christ brings us in.
More than any other community, the church should communicate welcome and acceptance to those who feel isolated, shamed, or troubled. A shared experience of grace can (and does) create communities that are unusually good at incorporating difference. Christian believers know that God uses suffering in his plans and purposes. He has done so in Christ. When Paul speaks of sharing abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, he makes clear that these experiences have been used by God to make him even more effective in his ministry (2 Cor. 1:3–7). Those who have experienced trauma have much to teach God’s church, and we should be eager to use all the gifts God gives to us, his people. As we think about those among us who may be burdened by trauma, we can see them both as “bruised reeds” (Matt. 12:20) who need Christlike care from us, and as brothers and sisters who have much to contribute as members of the body of Christ.
The post When the Pews Hold Pain appeared first on Christianity Today.